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  • Writer's pictureJust Simon Cowell

BGT Review: Hula Hoops, Hypnotic Dog, Simon Cowell as Mr Nice Guy and Amazing Vocal Performances, Wh

Britain's Got Talent is, quite simply, the most watched and best TV show of the whole weekend. It has everything, talent, fun and Simon Cowell. What more could you want?

Up first is Matthew Hunt aka Musical Ruth. If a trophy can be awarded to whoever can drive a piano round the stage, while singing badly and whilst being dressed as a nun, then he won the award hands down. Have a guess how he got on. Yes, you are right. 4 no's. Simon said "It was one of the worst acts I think I've seen on this show"

Bill Picton-Jenkins tried and failed to break the record for the most jokes told in a minute. The current record stands at 21, I mean 26. Bill scored an amazing...11. No record this time then Bill.

Vince, "I've been here for 14 hours" Venus, briefly sang ‘I Want To Break Free’? By the end of it I wanted to break the TV. Next..please.

The very likable Lisa Sampson is a self-taught hula hoop instructor and, at last, something worth watching tonight. Lisa knows how to work a hula hoop, (not the crisps ED) and totally smashed it. By the end all four were on their feet.

All round entertainer Paul Manners was given his moment in the spotlight and after a shaky start, (Simon pressed his buzzer) he went on to win the judges and crowd over. He also won himself a record deal with DWL, David's 'new' record label.

Singer Paul Netterfield, well singer-issh was so bad, my TV turned itself off, well it didn't really, but if it could have, it would have. It was that bad. Then shop worker Eric Kovac sang the song from Titanic and I personally think he will sink without a trace. Apart from Lisa Sampson, where is the talent tonight?

Will 15 year old singer Isaac Waddington change the trend? With his very proud and emotional family in the audience, Isaac blew us away with his vocal ability and brilliant piano playing. This lad is set for a big future in the music world. Very big. 4 yeses. Simon said “I think we’ve found somebody really, truly special”.

As regular readers of my reviews will tell you, due to my loyalty to Diversity, you have to be a really good dance troupe to impress me. So can 25 piece dance crew IMD win me over? It was very well choreographed, full of energy and expertly performed. They did themselves proud and got a standing ovation from the judges and audience. Simon said they took their audition to "another level"

What the UK is missing is a dog that can hypnotise people. So who's auditioning next. It's Krystyna and her Hypno Dog, Princess. I'm not making this up. They perform hypnosis on audience members and Ant & Dec. One after another they look in to the dogs eyes and pass out. Then Krystyna tells them, to wake up, but they will now not remember the number, um, the number 7. Ant and Dec then try to count to ten and as advised, they miss out 7. Simon then asks if he can try to be hypnotised with David shouting "make him nice"...I also took my chance to stare into Hypno Dogs eyes.

Simon kneels down for a few seconds and says "nothing happened" (same here Simon)

BUT in a complete u-turn, bad acts Andy Davis and Feng Xue leave Simon with a smile on his face and he gives them a yes vote, whilst Amanda, Alesha and David all say no. With the judges worried, Hypno Dog breaks the distant stare and it appears that the 'trance' has been broken, because when can can dancer Shane aka Mister Sister auditions, Simon says No.

Watch Simon and Princess come face to face.

Yes, the real Simon is back. I also feel fine again..1,2,3,4,5,6.....8,9..oh hold on. Anyone got a number for Hypno Dog. I really thought choir Affinity were going to be good, but it was all a bit cheesy and none of us warmed to them. Game over at the first hurdle.

The last auditionees tonight are 12 piece gospel choir Revelation Avenue. Their version of 'Roar' was like a huge breath of fresh air, blowing in to the room. I could have listened to them sing all night. This is how it should be done. Faultless vocals in complete 100% harmony. Fantastic stuff. Amanda then deservedly sent them straight in to the live shows by pressing her Golden Buzzer. Simon said "We just had the worst choir and now we've had one of the best" Right, I'm off to see Hypno Dog...see you next week.

Our review written by Dean Maynard, follow Dean on Twitter @Team_Midas


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